THE NEW DIVIDE: How can ego create barriers

Having a competitive advantage over others is a great asset.

Striving to be better at everything one does, is a brilliant goal.

Skill development is, without a doubt, a constructive endeavour.

But when these things soak up our humility and plant the seeds of ego, it can be detrimental in the long run and spoil all that we worked so hard for.

We millennials pride ourselves on all the regressive customs that we have left behind. We advocate for causes like promoting equality and inclusiveness and believe in breaking the discriminating barriers of race, religion, caste and gender.

But have we mastered the art of not judging? Don’t we often feel superior or inferior to others? Don’t we look down upon someone’s way of life that we could try to accept or understand?

As people who claim to be intellectuals and more aware, we can be too critical or opinionated on some matters.

While such actions can be constructive if we are trying to bring a positive change, they can also be unfavourable if it makes us averse to an individual who thinks differently or chooses a different way of life.

How to not be so full of ourselves: –

We cannot deny the fact that we often find ourselves at such places, and among such people who do not make us feel at home.

How many times have you been among people and found yourself thinking,” I don’t belong here!”

The scenarios explained below are two such examples: –

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The two cases highlight experiences of being among people with whom we do not feel compatible.

While we all have the right to not entertain abusive relationships, regressive decisions or toxic people in our lives; this article only aims to dwell upon the general and harmless differences that some of us tend to carry within us.

One can indeed be superior in knowledge, qualification, skill, experience and much more.

However, nurturing and holding on to such a feeling of superiority is the genesis of what is becoming ‘The New Divide’.

LET US CHECK OUT SOME OF THE DIFFERENCES THAT CAN CREATE SUCH PSYCHOLOGICAL BARRIERS AND EVENTUALLY CREATE MORE GROUNDS FOR DISCRIMINATION FOR OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS: –

THE CAREER DIVIDE

Discrimination on the basis of profession creates the career divide.

It is amazing how people coming from similar backgrounds and studying at the same universities end up becoming different professionals.

Some people become Doctors, Scientists, Engineers, Architects, Government officers, Professors and Teachers while some may also make a career in Music, Writing, and Photography or do part-time freelancing jobs, or who knows what.

One can also take a break from their career.

One can struggle for years to get a job.

There are just so many possibilities.

If these are individual choices, then why do we judge people based on their choices?

Well, it was always there. People have always been divided over their perception of elite and non-elite professions, high or low-paying professions, government or non-government occupations, etc.

The classification is not wrong. Surely, an entrepreneur might enjoy some advantages over someone who does a 9 to 5 PM job.

But why does someone who owns a business need to demean or look down upon people who work as employees under an employer?

Similarly, a doctor’s job can be far more necessary than someone who is a marketing professional. But both can be equally dedicated to their work and work hard similarly to achieve something important.

From the perspective of many unprivileged people around the world, it is a blessing to be employed or to have a career.

But if a group of professionals are made to feel inferior by the so-called elite professionals, it creates niches and burns down the bridges of interaction and empathy.

THE INCOME DIVIDE

We don’t get the same paycheck every month and obviously, that classifies us into different groups. As a result, we get divided and discriminated against based on our incomes.

The income or salary structure for different professions varies on many bases.

But when people use this to patronize someone else or to judge someone extremely, it creates a new divide.

No one can deny that everyone wants to earn more and make more money. But circumstances do not work alike in everyone’s favour.

The creation of this divide is organic and is not the fault of either side. It has to be as it is and is based on many individual factors.

The problem only arises when it makes someone smug and conceited. This also makes people of a certain income group mingle in societies of people falling in the same category and avoid the so-called ‘middle class.

Apparently, most of these people are progressives and take the initiative to create a better world.

Perhaps, they do not dwell deeper to understand fully what they themselves have been nurturing within.

But wait, even these groups have to bear a lot of criticism. All their activities are constantly under the radar of people who believe that someone who earns a lot is somehow corrupted, or someone who spends a lot of money is irresponsible and materialistic.

Who are we to judge how someone spends their own money?

Maybe we need a closer look. I am sure it will help us realise how time and again we have taken sides based on this division.

THE COMMUNICATION SKILLS DIVIDE

If you are from India, you might know the kind of look you get if you speak fluent English. You can often be considered haughty or smug for your suave manners, sophisticated choices and brilliant communication skills.

There is also a kind of look you get when you speak broken English. Your personality can be charming and you can be an expert at what you do, but people often smirk at you when you confidently pronounce a word incorrectly.

No matter how much society tries, it forms opinions about people based on their communication skills.

While it is mostly easy to communicate in regional languages we are often put under pressure to shift to the globally acknowledged language, English.

If a person coming from a Bengali family doesn’t speak proper Bengali, it is not as big of a deal as it is when a person who comes from an English-medium school cannot speak fluent English.

Your English can be perfectly understandable but if you have a native accent and stammer a lot, then you will be judged.

And if you speak fluently and make grammatical errors, you will be judged even more harshly.

The people who are trying hard to improve themselves and build their skills need your support, not ridicule and discouragement. Understand that and stop putting them down.

Good communication skill is undoubtedly a boon and something to work on. On top of that, good English communication skills give further advantages and benefits to a person, not just socially but also professionally.

But can we get a little less critical with people who are still struggling to improve their communication skills? And a little less judgemental about those who have that skill?

Language should bring people closer, not yank them apart.

THE ‘STANDARD OF LIVING’ DIVIDE

Of course, you judge people based on their tastes and choices.

While you look for refined and quality stuff, someone else might prefer cheaper items. Contrarily, you may be someone who doesn’t really care about brands and materials but when your friends are particular about their style of living, you roll your eyes.

None of us can deny that the standard of Living differentiates and divides us.

We or our parents did not grow up with a lot of things that are necessary for us today.

Be it a phone, a car, air-conditioned rooms, TV recharges, Data Packs, Sunday shopping or Weekend parties; we have got used to these and cannot do without them.

People always struggle to improve their standard of living and in doing so, they often invest money in things that make their lives look beautiful.

Well, we are all guilty of it to some extent.

On the other hand, others might invest in what actually makes them happy or what adds meaning to their lives, even if it doesn’t look very attractive to the world.

And which is the better option?

Both!

People know what they are doing and what they want.

All we can do is judge less and let people live their lives the way they want to.

THE ‘RELIGIOUS BELIEF’ DIVIDE

Hindu vs Muslim; Christian vs Jews; Christian vs Muslims- these debates have become old school now. Most of the millennials have exhausted topics when it comes to differentiating between different religions.

Yes, people are and will remain divided over religion and continue to hate and discriminate over it. But for the millennials, the domain of belief has changed and has opened doors for new ideas.

Now, the new battle continues between the believers and the atheists.

Unfortunately, the progressive ideas that enlightened many, did not really bring people closer. It has created the new ‘religious belief’ divide.

While one category feels they are superior because they believe in God and lead a life having that consciousness in mind, the atheists confidently claim and mostly convince everyone that there is no scientific proof of God and there is no such thing as a Creator.

Both these groups can be quite stubborn and while many have found a middle ground where they become friends and co-exist, many extreme groups and communities keep advocating vehemently for their causes and keep creating niches that take common people away from the middle ground.

Who is superior? Try asking that to a hardcore atheist or a passionate believer.

It won’t be small talk so you better sit with some snacks and a cup of coffee, or better still, order the dinner.

The bottom line is that our beliefs, opinions and cultures might clash but we need to create a future where we all can co-exist as much as we contradict.

THE ‘WHERE ARE YOU FROM?’ DIVIDE

In India, stereotyping is often based on the geographical region or state one comes from. If you have been judged based on your home town or mother language in India, you have been a victim of the ‘Where are you from’ divide.

 If you are from West Bengal, people assume that you love Fish.

If you are from South India, you must love Idli-Dosa and Sambhar-Vada.

If you are from Bihar or UP, you are possibly going to sit for the UPSC exam.

There are just so many things we assume about someone we have never met just by hearing the name of the state they come from.

The saddest part is when people joke about and put a certain group of people down.

It is nothing but the sense of superiority that makes someone from North India talk down to someone from South or vice-versa.

Why are North-East Indians discriminated against based on their looks and choices?

It is time we filter our conversations and narrow down the jokes we crack from Punjabi or Bihari jokes to simple harmless jokes so that we leave less of these stereotypes behind for the next generation.

THE ‘CASTE BENEFIT’ DIVIDE

Traditionally, a person’s caste was determined based on the occupation assigned to the person. Based on the caste, a person was given a position in the job hierarchy.

The caste division has always existed. The ‘Caste Benefit’ divide happens when some people receive caste benefits and face ridicule from those against it, while those who don’t receive benefits are belittled by those who do.

While we still struggle to abolish the discriminations based on caste systems that continue to persist in our society, we have also created two strongly opinionated groups in respect to caste benefits- one who believes that the so-called ‘lower castes’ should enjoy benefits like ‘reservations and quotas’ in admissions, jobs etc, and the other who believe that we should do away with any kind of reservations or quotas.

This is a divide where no one is greatly at fault because both groups can have sensible reasons for what they choose for their personal growth.

But the point of discomfort is only where people do not fail to show off their superior position.

If you have reached a higher position in life without privileges, benefits or contacts, that surely is something to be proud of. It is motivating and inspiring. Talk about your success, but just don’t fill your success story the way any political party praises itself- by highlighting the faults of the opposition.

Alternatively, if you have enjoyed the benefits of reservations and quotas, don’t put down those who had more struggles in their lives and still couldn’t claim those benefits.

THE ‘POLITICAL OPINION’ DIVIDE

Every generation grapples with the ‘political opinion’ divide. Differing political ideologies can create rifts within social circles, making it challenging to maintain close bonds.

Once you enter this discussion, it’s hard to extricate yourself. Particularly when engaged with a predominantly left-leaning or right-leaning group, escape options are limited, unless you resort to a fabricated excuse like feeling unwell.

There is a reason why Cross-cultural management classes teach us that we should probably talk about the weather of a social setting rather than the political environment of a country or state.

Political opinions can be vehement, and dissenting voices may face suppression or conformity.

The ideal setting would be where you can get your space to disagree with, accept and explain a different perspective and still feel secure about the friendships you have built with the people around you.  

If you have got that, stop leaning left or right and just hold on to that.

CONCLUSION

All the things mentioned above can work both ways. However, it is not compulsory to bear everyone we meet in life. Sometimes, you need to cut out toxic people from your life and that ‘divide’, for the sake of your mental health is better than holding on to something that takes away your peace of mind.

The fact of the matter is, it is quite difficult to generalise some of the things mentioned above, as cases are most often subjective. Sometimes a feeling or action is validated by the context and sometimes it is not.

One cannot live without having a certain opinion or notion about things.

 It is just that we should keep on introspecting ourselves whenever we can so that the barriers that have been created in our minds do not deplete our strength of character and ability to coexist.

How about you? Have you ever been demeaned or stereotyped? Or have you done it and regretted it later?

Drop in your comments below!

Also Read:https://neoprotagonist.com/10-things-that-make-you-a-neo-protagonist/